Today, we went to Century Square Nokia to replace my spoiled charger. The carpark was full so I made my way there first while hubby go find a parking lot. There were three ladies in front of me, talking pretty loudly in mandarin. Their conversation somehow caught my attention. I shall translate their conversation here.
Lady 1: Aiyoh, you are still young, should come out and work. Why stay at home to look after your baby?
Lady 2: Ya lor! Next time you have plenty of time to look after your grandchildren! You scare no chance meh?
Lady 3: .......
I didn't get to hear Lady 3's response because I was already approaching Nokia shop. But if I were Lady 3, I would tell them,"Yeah, you are damn right. I should not look after my own children but look after my children's children!" I mean, why is it not appropriate to look after my own kids but all right to look after my kids' kids? Besides, what rights have Lady 1 and 2 to comment about Lady 3's decision to stay home and look after the kids?? It's her kids, not theirs! They should respect her decision, shouldn't they?
For myself, I want to look after my own kids very much. I don't want to miss this important and precious moment of developing a bond with my baby. I want to be part of their growing up period. It's kind of sad that now most mothers don't feel such an importance. Some may blame it on the expenditure level in Singapore. But let's put that issue aside; there will be no end if I start writing about it. Different people has different views.
With regard to looking after grand children, I read that grand parents tend to feel a new lease of life in themselves when they saw their grand children. Hence, they want to renew the feelings of parenthood, and also to make up for the precious lost times or even guilt they have with their own children when their children are still young. This reminds me of what Julia had shared. She told me the same thing. She also added that some grand parents had forgotten the fact that they are the grand parents, and may intervene too much at times (though the intention is good). Sounds kinda sad... isn't it?
We all know that children will eventually grow up, have their own thinking, own circle of friends and finally, a family of their own. When that day arrives, sad to say, parent-child relationship will more or less not be the same anymore. Right now, I want to bond as much as possible with my baby, so that when he grows up, our mother-son relationship will still be good, and that I will have no regrets for not doing my part as a mum. One thing for sure, I definitely don't want to be the grand parent who wants to make up for precious lost times or ease my guilt!
To conclude, shall share the 5 tips from National Family Council (got them from Nov CL):
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
Your children will become what you are, so be what you want them to be.
Treat your children with respect and they will mirror your behaviour.
Teach your children the essential 2Ms - Good Morals and Good Manners.
Do not rush to fight your children's battles. Just be there for them and help them cope.
