Translation: A complete family does not equate to a healthy family. Quan Yi Feng said the above during the 1st episode of Celebrities' Break. She recounted on her unhappy childhood, her ups and down in showbiz, depression, daughter as well as her marriage with Hong Rong.
She said she stays in her marriage because she wants to give her daughter a complete family, but now she thinks otherwise. Hence, the above quote.
It sends me thinking.
Indeed, having a complete family with father and mother not necessarily means a healthy family.
A healthy family should be one of harmonious, positive and working towards a common goal. Many people said divorce will have a negative impact on the child. Yes, definitely in some ways.
But if it means that the child will have to live under the pressure of parents quarrelling and hurling abuse and even violence, then, divorce is in fact a better way out for the parents and the child. The child will not be emotionally healthy in a violent family (even though it is a complete family). The hurt will be inflicted forever.
Many times, people (even grandparents) only thought about the importance of a complete family, without really understanding how dire the situation is.
Of course, with a child, things gets tricky. You have to salvage the marriage and tolerate as much as possible. If all else fail, then instead of letting a child living under family violence, might as well free the child from it!
Perhaps, we adults should learn to see things in a different light and not beat about the bush.
Translation: A woman's compassion can touch and change a man.
Now, to begin with a different note. This quote is encouraging compared to Quan Yi Feng's quote (which seems pessismistic).
Chen Shu Cheng, in one of the episode of Love Blossoms, said the above quote to Ivy Lee (who acted as his daughter). His marriage with his wife (in the drama) was salvaged after his wife forgave him. This is yet another quote that strikes a chord in my heart.
In Gakkai, women are described as the SUN of a family. Gakkai placces lots of emphasis on how a woman can change the fate of her family, leading them to happiness. Sometimes, I thought, it's so unfair! Why must it always be the woman to make sacrifices? When I was still a child and witnessed my mummy being hit, I told myself that I will not forgive anyone who lay a finger on me and my child! Unconsciously, the urge to protect myself and my child has becomes a fear and a burden.
Now, having to go through family life and having a son, my thinking changes. The human brain is really complex and contradictory. I am angry yet I want to make peace with what I am facing. Perhaps the human brain and human heart are constantly engagaing in a battle. A heart about the size of a fist, can actually encompass lots of feeling and strength, motivating one towards goodwill. The mind (brain) on the other hand, if weak-willed, can lead one to destruction.
Whether one chooses to face squarely with life's challenges or to flee, it is a matter of heart versus mind. To have a heart so magnanimous, it is through doing human revolution. To have a positive and healthy mindset, it is through fertilising the heart with the right nutrients, and that is, through chanting.
Having pondering over the quotes and taking into account of what Gakkai teaches, I've decided to be the sun of my family. Lots of determination needed though.
To conclude, I'd like to share a quote I've always loved,
"Be the master of your mind, and not let your mind master you."
