To make toilet training as smooth a process as possible for you and your toddler, take a moment to learn about not only what works, but what doesn't: Starting too soon Starting potty training before your toddler is ready will only make it more difficult and prolong the process. There's no magic time when it's right to begin. Most toddlers have the necessary physical and mental skills between 18 and 24 months, while some aren't ready until they're closer to age 3 or even 4. Keep an eye out for physical, cognitive, and behavioral signs that your toddler is set to give it a try.
It may take up to three months to potty-train your child, and it's important to be patient and supportive throughout. If you've been trying for three months without success, your toddler may not be ready — wait a few weeks and try again.
Starting at the wrong time It's not a good idea to begin training a week before the new baby is due, when you're changing caregivers, or during any other disruptive time in your child's life. Toddlers are creatures of routine, and any changes to the usual program are likely to cause setbacks.. So wait until things have settled down before you start. Putting on the pressure If your toddler has started to show an interest in toilet training, that's great. But don't push her to get through it faster than she can handle. If she gets nervous, she could start holding in her stool, which can lead to constipation and other problems.
Let her take her time and get used to this new, multipart processstep by step. She'll move from one stage to the next at her own speed. It's fine to try to motivate with gentle reminders and encouragement, but if she balks, don't push it. Following your mother-in-law's timetable It will get harder with each week, but no matter how many times you hear your parents, your in-laws, or someone else from an earlier generation tell you that you should hurry up and start training, let it roll off your back.
Toilet training methods have changed a lot in the last 40 years, and what was standard practice when you were a child is no longer the norm. These days it's typical to wait for signals your child is ready rather than impose a schedule of your own. And research suggests children can't voluntarily control the muscles for their bladder and rectum until they're at least 18 months old.
So if you hear any more stories about Cousin Jim's son who was trained by his first birthday, smile, nod, and say, "We have a plan. We're not worried about it." For support and advice from other parents, visit our toilet training bulletin board. Punishing your child It won't accomplish a thing to get angry or penalize your toddler if she's not interested in training, won't sit on the potty, has an accident, or has any of the other common problems kids have while toilet training. Setbacks are natural, and scolding will only make her less interested in training — she'll be afraid any mistakes will upset you. If you can, respond to messes and other challenges calmly — and if you can't, bite your tongue and count to ten, then try again.
Does it really take longer to toilet train boys than girls? Yes, although no one seems to know just why. In her book Toilet Learning, author Alison Mack says the difference may be at least partially due to the fact that moms tend to be the primary toilet-trainers in a family. Boys without a male role model to imitate in the bathroom may take a little longer to get the idea, while girls have the advantage of observing someone with the same equipment.
Another reason boys tend to need more time than girls — even if Dad is involved — might be that for them learning to pee in a potty is a two-step process. First they learn to do it sitting down, and then they have to master standing up (see below).
If your son takes longer to toilet train than girls his age, that's okay. Just be sure to watch for the signs of readiness and go from there. Why should my son start by peeing sitting down? Since bowel movements and urine often come at the same time, it makes sense — at least initially — to have your son sit for both so he learns that both belong in the potty. This will also keep him from getting distracted by the fun of spraying when you need him to focus on just mastering the basic procedure. How do I teach my son to pee standing up?Once your son has mastered going to the bathroom sitting down, he can move on to the standing position. Having a readily available male role model is key, so arrange for Dad, an uncle, an older brother, or a good family friend to do the honors. After accompanying his model to the bathroom to watch, let your son give it a try in his potty chair — on his own or next to the big guy at the big toilet.
If your son seems reluctant, try floating a few pieces of O-shaped cereal or other small, flushable targets (some companies sell products just for this purpose) in the toilet bowl. You can expect to clean up a few messes as your son refines his aim.
FYI: When buying a potty chair for your son, look for one without a urine guard (or one you can remove). While a guard may protect your bathroom from a little stray pee, it's more likely that your son will bump into it and scrape his penis. The last thing you want is for him to associate going to the bathroom with pain!
