I’ve written several posts about the struggles and the triumphs of potty training my daughter, who turned 3 in December and has been diaper free for more than a month. She’s had occasional accidents (mostly when sleeping) but otherwise she is successfully potty trained. I never thought I’d say this–especially considering how much I agonized over the whole potty training process–but it seems like it was easier when she was in diapers. I know that’s not the politically-correct mom thing to say, and I understand why some of you would roll your eyes and think I’m off-kilter, crazy or, if you’re in the process of potty training, ungrateful.
But hear me out.
Before the potty, my daughter would go to the bathroom and I’d change her. Like most of you, I had a system in place and could whip on and off a diaper any time, any place, with rapid-fire speed.
Now when she has to go to the bathroom–which is all of the time–it’s a big production. We stop what we are doing. If we’re in line some place, we step out and go. If we’re driving, we pull over and find a restroom. If we’re out on a walk, we run home (not fun for me, considering I’m very pregnant right now).
If we’re at a public bathroom or someone’s house, I have to lug out her potty seat cover, a cumbersome device I must have nearby at all times because she is afraid of sitting on a standard-sized toilet (thank goodness for the kiddie toilets at family-friendly malls). That also means I must lift her onto the toilet since most public places don’t have step stools (again, not fun being preggo).
At home, she favors the potty chair. Which means once she’s done, I must dump the pee or poo into the toilet and wash the bowl out. Sometimes, she wants to do it herself. Inevitably, stuff splatters all over the toilet rim and floor. (Note to self: with next child, don’t even introduce him to the potty chair).
Then there’s the wiping, especially after she’s gone No. 2. I’ve tried to teach her how to do it but she hasn’t quite mastered the technique (I’ll spare you the poopy details). Which means I must wipe her bottom at least once but usually two or three times a day. I never really thought about this chore, naively believing she could take care of it herself. To all of you moms in the know: How long did you wipe your kids? I’m not trying to be cute or funny. I seriously want to know (and Google was of little help).
Then there’s the hand washing. My daughter loves getting soapy but dislikes rinsing and drying her hands. So it’s a struggle–a wet, messy struggle at that. And again, if I’m at a place without a step stool, I must lift her up to the sink. and hold her while she washes and help her. These days, it’s pretty much a workout for me.
I realize that this, too, is a temporary phase. In a few weeks to a few months, she’ll be able to do all this herself and her being toilet trained will be easier than diapers.
But for right now, I’m not so sure. And for moms in the potty training process, I just wanted to give you a heads up about what to expect.
(And again, I’d appreciate any advice on my wiping question as well as any thoughts on speeding up my child’s transition to independent potty user).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 9 Responses to “Why diapers are easier than the toilet” Comments RSS
autumnalyssa Says: February 20th, 2008 at 9:40 pm Ha! Totally! Just as I was about to type a reply to this, I heard the call “I goed poo poo in the potty!” from the bathroom, so I had to stop everything and go help. I am in almost exactly the same boat as you–I have 3 1/2 year olds (yes, two. Twins.) and I’m almost seven months pregnant, and they have just recently become fully potty-trained (not at night yet, though). It was so totally easier when they were in diapers! But, here are my bits of advice…take her to the bathroom as soon as you get somewhere when you’re in public, so that you (hopefully) won’t have to interrupt whatever you are doing later to go. And as far as the hand washing in public, this was a big problem for me too. I was just getting too pregnant to hold them up on my knee for them to wash their hands, so I got some hand wipes and we just use those when we are out. As far as wiping the little butts, well, it’s not a nice job. But I’m still doing it for them, because the alternative isn’t very nice either. I usually wipe them a couple times a day with the diaper wipes to get any spots I “missed.” I don’t know about the transition to the big potty, we still use the little baby bjorns, but I’m hoping it’s not too hard. A good substantial potty seat to fit over the toilet seat (maybe even one with handles?) is my plan when I get to it! Good Luck! I’m right there with you!
Pam Says: February 20th, 2008 at 9:52 pm I think girls learn all of these things earlier, so don’t be shocked when I say that my older son, now six, needed to be wiped until age 5. He still wants me to check to make sure he “got it all”, which drives me nuts. Picture him bending over twice a day to give me a good “view”. lol Usually, he gets it all fine, so I think it is just an attention-getting behavior. My four-year-old is more independent by nature, but not good at wiping by himself yet. Because I detest wiping and disinfecting my bathroom more than the two times a day I already have to do it, I ask him to please wait for me to help. He can’t understand yet that he needs a good amount of tissue and that he needs to ball it up.
With boys, you wipe up a lot more pee, because they get distracted and the pee goes in the direction they are looking. lol Having them wipe it themselves only results in a smelly bathroom. I can’t agree with you more. Diapers are a breeze compared to all this cumbersome potty stuff. If you’re like me, you can’t stand all the germs in public restrooms and are constantly nagging, “Don’t touch that!” After the newness wares off, you won’t be going into public restrooms as much. They want to check them out a lot those first few months.
One of my girlfriends only helped wipe her kids until they were newly 4. She didn’t care if they left some residual. It all depends on how much of a perfectionist the mother or dad is, I think. Or perhaps how much of a perfectionist the child is.
You’re probably rolling your eyes now, thinking this is way more information than you needed to hear! Ha Ha
Lindsey Says: February 20th, 2008 at 10:21 pm My husband and I were just discussing whether we should go back to pull-ups when I pulled this up. Very funny! Our 25 month son has mastered the pee but not the poop. We have at least one accident in the big boy underwear a day. I’m actually looking forward to the wiping! As far as the little potty chairs go, we have never used one. My son’s “school” uses them for girls but they put boys on the regular toilet backwards (facing the tank) because little boys can scrape their penis (is it normal to be embarassed about typing that word?)against the potty chairs. We did the same thing at home for consistency. It has worked well (except for the poop!). I know that we wiped my niece until she was about 4. Heather Says: February 20th, 2008 at 10:24 pm I’m so with you on this! My son will be five this year and he still needs to be wiped. He can kind of do it himself but not very well. Alysia Says: February 20th, 2008 at 10:37 pm Thanks! I have a lot to look forward to! Ashley H. Says: February 20th, 2008 at 10:38 pm I’m with you, too. I HATE potty training, and diapers, you learn, are actually really convenient. My 3 year old wants to go potty everywhere we go. And almost no public bathrooms have step stools at the sinks…a pet peeve of mine! Give the poor kiddies a break! Great post!
Jenn Says: February 20th, 2008 at 11:00 pm OMG! You hit the nail right on the head with this one. But you are right-its a phase that passes. For a while my son wanted to go to the bathroom EVERYWHERE we went-but now he’s four and its fine. And be glad he asks you to wipe-my son doesn’t tell me when he poops-which leads to a lot of gross skid marks and embarrassing butt scratching in public-LOL! Good luck-it does get easier! tif rn Says: February 20th, 2008 at 11:32 pm yeah…potty training, and potty CHAIRS suck hardcore. we got a little seat with handles since carson (insert snicker here) fell in once and REFUSED to sit on a toilet again for months, ergo, the potty chair of DEATH AND HATE. at least with boys you can have a trailer park moment and let them pee behnd your car if its that desperate of a situation. and my 5.5 yo still sux at wiping. sigh. eribird Says: February 21st, 2008 at 12:29 am If you begin your “toilet training” in the child’s first year of life (ideally in the first six months) they will never be “diaper trained” in the first place, which can lead to a difficult struggle during a time when the child is working on his own independence (2-3) and potty training just gets in the way. Also, pottying in public places/other people’s homes just isn’t such a new thing because they’ve been doing it all their life. The real benefits are the savings to you (diapers, especially disposables, are very expensive); the savings to the environment (cutting YEARS of diaper wearing keeps a tremendous amount of waste out of landfills) and the improved health of your child (would YOU want to spend several years of your life with plastic pants strapped to your bottom, forced to urinate and defecate into them?). It is a strange practice we have evolved and it’s no wonder that it is very very hard to teach children to use a potty after they’ve learned to go in their pants.
Though it will not be “easier” for a little while, early toilet learning will make life much easier in the long run! It won’t necessarily change how long you have to “help” your child with toileting, the benefits in communication gained and in doing something good for you and the environment can more than make up for it! I urge you to look into Elimination Communication, even for children who are toilet training at the “usual” age! It can be done part time, with diapers when you just can’t potty your child.
